Once upon a time there lived a cat and he lived on the planet Sun. He was a renowned world leader of a small village called Madeofwood, which rested on the surface of Sun. The snake residents of Madeofwood were both mad, angry, and infuriated by the fact that their village houses kept burning down for some inexplicable reason.

The cat, whose name was Pigfat, set off on a journey to find out why the village houses of Madeofwood were burning on the surface of Sun, and he planned to stop the problem once and for all. So he went to an alternate dimension called the Doughnut Planes by way of subway sandwich train. Pigfat found a lever of seemingly no use and decided it was the key to saving the universe.

Pigfat took a walk back to his planet Sun and struck the lever into the center of the planet, which wasn't the core because the core was a bit off-center from the real center of the planet. Nevertheless, he struck it with the lever he found and nothing happened.

Then something happened. A black hole was created from the inside of Sun and though it seemed to destroy the village, in actuality it warped it through a vortex into the Doughnut Planes. The snake residents of Madeofwood no longer had any problem with their villages burning down, but the Doughnut Planes had a serious snake problem. And that is how the story of Snakes on a Plane really came to be.

It's 3 AM and I'm tired and crazy.